43 divided by 6 equals 7.167…

(My parents on their wedding day – after the ceremony headed to NYC for their honeymoon.  Dad said he almost missed his flight because he forgot his overcoat.  Luckily, a friend from the wedding party rushed to the airport to deliver it to him on the tarmac!)

I have something to say about Valentines Day!  My husband and I don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day in the traditional sense (i.e. going to an over-crowded, over-priced restaurant for dinner OR spending ridiculous amounts of money on jewelry, chocolate or anything else really), but we do honor the day and acknowledge it’s presence.  In fact, my son and I sent out Valentine’s Day crafts (won’t spend money on cards) to the important people in our lives (grandparents)…and yes, my husband will get his card on construction paper covered in foam stickers, washable tempera paint and whatever other crafting items I have in the house.  And yes, that one will be from me.

But I was thinking today.  Go figure.  My son was born four days before my parent’s anniversary and every year since his birth, we have had the priviledge of having them in town when they celebrate.  I know it’s a bit of a sacrifice for my parents to share their sacred anniversary with us (especially since they don’t even have to hire a babysitter anymore to go on a date!!) but it’s been nice sharing it with them.  I know it’s kind of win-win for them too.  They get to see their grandson turn one year older AND our wonderful state boasts several casino’s where my mom can empty her pockets that have been burning from having too much change in them.

This year, they celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary!  That’s a lot of years.  Which got me thinking…if my husband and I have been married just 6 years and we’ve already run the gamut from total joy (wedding day) to shock (missed flight to honeymoon) to sadness (loss of family members) to peace (birth or our first child) to more shock (first child has colic, acid reflux and sleeping issues) to fear (financial struggle) to…well, I could go on…what kind of mustard do you have to cut to make it 43 years!  Must be some spicy mustard.  Or whole grain mustard – seems heartier and also serves as a thickening agent for my homemade balsamic vinaigrette.

People often say marriage is work.  Other people don’t like to hear that.  But if you hate your job or you hate doing work, then you will likely not enjoy being married.  It’s not that it’s work (you certainly aren’t getting paid for it in dollars), but it’s more like committing yourself to growing with another person spiritually, emotionally, physically and informationally…and committing to do that for the long haul. 

We seem to be able to commit to ourselves all the time – we eat what we like, we wear what’s comfortable – committing to another person just shows us what we are really made of.  43 years.  It makes me really appreciate that they are still together.  I know now that it must have taken some real courage, some real strength and some real committment to get there.  Happy Valentine’s Day!


Categories: All The Rest

2 replies

  1. Priscilla —

    I really enjoyed reading the Happy Valentine’s Day message. Your mom loved it. Well said.

    I am impressed with your writing. The personal vignettes in your “Oatmeal and Berries” blog are AWESOME!!! In contemporary parlance… THEY ROCK!!!! I did not know about this blog. It is a treasure of insight of my little girl… the little duck in the pond who turned into a beautiful white swan.

    I especially like the way the vignettes deliver a “take away” message that is sincere and touches the soul. They have impact. They are the building blocks, the “pearls of wisdom”, of a necklace that is being strung together and will bring enjoyment, pleasure, and an appreciation for the really important things in life to whoever wears it.

    ROCK ON!!!

    Oh, by the way, you get your great writing from your dad. You are the better of the two. I am the pawn in the chess game. I started a winning game. You finished it. Keep up the good work!!!


  2. Beautiful reminder that love *is* sacrifice, for if it was the pursuit of pleasure that “love” would be a very lonely place.

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