Where’s the Locker Room?

my life outside of Crossfit

Truth is, there isn’t one. No sauna, no shower, no hair dryer, no courtesy towels, no mats to stretch on, no machines…no nothin’. Just the basics people. Black rubber flooring and real live exercise equipment where you are required to use your body to do the work. I know, rocket science right?

This topic has been talked about and talked about and talked about especially by people who are doing it, but the reason we all talk about it is because it works. I’m talking about Crossfit people.

I don’t know when working out became about which machine I would sit on for ten minutes and then walk casually over to the next one and sit on that one for ten minutes, all the while remembering to wipe it down after I used it. Crossfit would literally laugh in the face of a wiping something down after you use it and in fact, last week I sat in another man’s butt sweat after he got off the rower. I sooo wanted to wipe that down, but alas, we were being timed! When I used to play sports competitively, we had strength coaches and trainers and very rarely did we use any machines. We did stuff old school. Push ups, situps (not crunches), sprint workouts, box jumps and we used lots of free weights (dumbbells, bars and plates) and mixed in a few olympic lifts. When I stopped playing, I was left to my own devices to find motivation in the workout arena.

Yeah, not so much. I became one of those people who went to the gym and “did cardio” for twenty minutes and then meandered in and out of machines trying to get the best workout with what was offered. Often I would find myself in the free weights area because I would basically do the workout I did when I used to have a strength coach. BORING! Plus the free weights area at the gym was populated mostly by well coiffed, orange skinned men who were loud, talked about really stupid stuff and grunted gratuitously. Occasionally there was a blonde girl in spandex conveniently doing straight leg dead lifts near the gaggle of men. Over it.

So I stopped going to the gym, I figured sitting on my butt for twelve hours a day was a better workout and better use of my time than what I could accomplish at the gym…even in a class (gag me!). A friend told me about a free class at our local Crossfit gym and I went. I couldn’t breathe. I was sore and couldn’t move for more than a week. I could not pull my body up over a bar nor could I do a double under without peeing my pants. But I loved it. I signed up. I repeat, I love it.

You see, other than just getting a fantastic workout I got back some of my *grrrrr*. Before I was a mom, I could do anything I set my mind to and I had the time to do it. Now that my time is infringed upon at every turn, I need to get into the gym get my *grrrrrr* on and go home. I am not there for an hour and there is absolutely no meandering. Even if I did meander I would find myself at the pull up bar, or the jump ropes or the wall ball area…so I keep my head down, do what I do and get the heck outta there. Sometimes I look longingly over at the real Crossfitters (I’m still in basics) and dream about having abs or legs like that. But my favorite thing about Crossfitting is that I feel stronger because I am stronger.

So when I go about my day as a mommy, which requires very little *grrrrr* and I pick up that pillow for the thirtieth time or scoop up that pile of duplo bricks for the tenth time or bide my time with chores before I pick up the older kiddo and the wait for the younger kiddo to wake up from her nap…I will remember that just a few hours ago I threw a 25lb. kettle bell over my head 15 times in a row or maybe I ripped open the calluses on my hand doing a kipping pull-up and I got some *grrrrrr* back in my life. Even if for just thirty minutes. After all, that’s about all the time I can spare these days.


kettle bell = big iron ball with a handle; double under = getting the jump rope under your feet twice before you land once; straight leg dead lift = holding a bar and bending over forward and then back up again; kipping pull up = me just kinda flinging my body while hanging onto a suspended monkey bar; *grrrrr* = the Incredible Hulk in all of us; butt sweat = butt sweat.


Categories: All The Rest

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