old ladies rule

old ladies rule

It is a good thing this all happened before I turned forty, it will save me the “mid-life crisis” when I actually get there. And, by the way, what is the mid-life crisis for women? I have no interest in fast cars (or fast women for that matter), don’t need a toupee, not really into bedazzled jeans pockets…hmmm…don’t want anything augmented and I definitely don’t want to stay up late anywhere that requires me to wear something other than pajamas…I guess my mid-life crisis wouldn’t have been very fun anyway so it’s a good thing it got thwarted early.

Yesterday, I went for a second opinion on my ailing knee. I have been shopping Orthopedic Specialist/Surgeons to see if I need to have my pristine (that would be the left one) knee scoped. I had the right knee scoped about fifteen years ago and have gotten decent mileage out of that one. Recently, however, the left one has been barking for some attention. So needy. Well, the first doctor told me that I should just stop doing what I am doing for exercise (CrossFit) and try yoga or pilates. Great options, however, I am just not ready to give up my rope climbing, future hand stand pushups, pull-ups (I can kip these puppies better now than I could during the Reagan slash “Presidential Fitness” era) and over all feeling that old ladies do indeed rule! Plus, doctor number one was wearing a tweed jacket with suede elbow patches…in Arizona, so I kinda had that weird Nacho Libre grin the entire time he was talking to me. Towards the end of that visit (after the knee discussion), he made a random assessment about having possible damage to my ulnar nerve (can you even say that on the internet?!). One of the side effects of this kind of damage included loss of speech…um, what?

Needless to say, I was reticent the whole drive home. Didn’t mutter one word to myself. Didn’t sing one note to one song (and that was hard). I just kept thinking how precious time is and how much we take things for granted. Like speech. Would I know when this loss would come? Would I lose it during my night time lullabies to the kids? Would I lose other functioning as well? I spent the next few days pondering what I had been told and trying not to freak myself out. After all, it was just an assessment and he wanted me to do a test to confirm said assessment. But the main theme that kept playing in my mind was that my clock is not ticking in the backwards direction. My life is not a count down, but the numbers are getting bigger and although my doctor told me “you’re no spring chicken” to which I made some sarcastic remark, gesture and sound in his general direction…truth is…he’s right.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I know I am not old old. But, I am definitely feeling the physical effects of the many years that sports have taken on my body. The mental effects that sleepless nights of staying up with babies or sick kiddos or watching Downton Abbey marathons have taken on  my energy level and ability to stay awake come 8:00 p.m. The gravitational effects that the Earth has taken on my “core”…or wait, is it the Earth or the mint Milano’s that have cause that? In a very good way, these things serve as reminders that we need to take care of our bodies, our minds and our souls. I am not one to quit anything cold turkey (except maybe cold turkey), but I realized that I need to have a longer term strategy for taking care of my temple. It has given me some really great years – and I want lots more years that are not compromised by major ailments. Aches, pains, clicks, pops…that kind of stuff I can handle. What I can’t handle is shooting pain in my knee when I stand up from the rocking chair to put my baby girl in her crib. Or trying to figure out “modifications” for climbing up and down my stairs.

So, I went for a second opinion. Guess what? That guy thought I was old too and there was no tweed or suede patches to be found. He told me that “you’re not in your twenties and if you want to be able to get out of bed with decent knees by the time you are fifty, you may want to think about how you are treating your knees. They have given you a lot of good years.” Obviously, my body is my body and it handles different kinds of stress to it than other bodies but truth is…he’s right too. My prognosis? My ulnar nerve is fine – thank goodness! I need to have arthroscopy on my left knee – figured. I will still be able to do all the things I love to do, including CrossFit. More importantly, I will be able to run around with my kids, climb up the slide if I want to, go for long bike rides with them and sing them lullabies at night with my still working vocal chords for lots of years to come – thank God.

But a word to the wise ladies…you better watch your shopping carts at Nordstrom Rack, I’m now in the running for blouses, cropped jackets, chunky heels, cork heeled flats and rouge…and I’m fast.


Categories: All The Rest

Tags: , , ,

4 replies

  1. Seriously, who where’s blouses???

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