CrossFit’s Real “Dirty Little Secret”

One of the ten pound children (9.15 point 8)

One of the ten pound children (9.15 point 8)

Hey. So if you follow CrossFit or have a friend who does CrossFit, or you do CrossFit and have anxious, nervous parents who know you do CrossFit, or you are annoyed by someone who constantly texts, tweets, Facebook’s or blogs (touché) about CrossFit, then you are well aware of the concern the entire world seems to be having over the condition called Rhabdomyolosis. Do I need to define it, or do you know what I am talking about?

Anywho, I for one have seen the press and I also CrossFit.

There was this one: https://medium.com/health-fitness-1/97bcce70356d

And these that serve as education about the condition: http://library.crossfit.com/free/pdf/CFJ_Wright_Rhabdo.pdf and http://www.crossfit.com/journal/library/38_05_cf_rhabdo.pdf

Oh, and this one that tells us of the dangers of Rhabdo and Cocaine, why is no one putting this all over Twitter: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1996798

So, obviously I took most of this press in stride as I have never, not even once, vomited after a CrossFit workout. Nor have I ever vomited after any exercise for that matter and I played sports at a some pretty competitive levels (high school, club, Division I Collegiate level, US National Team, professional leagues) and have continued training pretty much every day of my life since them – with the exception of bearing children. And so, speaking of bearing children, I wanted to bring light to the real dirty little secret of CrossFit… Incontinence. That’s right, straight up peeing your pants – during CrossFit. While jumping rope, while running, while box jumping, but strangely almost never when doing burpees…weird.

Folks, it ain’t pretty and I know these topics can be kind of touchy because people don’t want to talk about the truth. But the truth is that I let my team down on Monday during a class-wide competition at our CrossFit gym. Ooh, goodie!! I love a competition! We were to do an “Indian Run” in which we run an 800m as a team and try to have the best class time throughout the run with each person in back running up to the front of the squad and then setting the pace as the person who is now in last place begins their run to the front of the line and so on and so on until the 800m is finished. Our leader set a great pace and we had some great audibles being called by the team as to where everyone stood. I was mid-pack and waited as each person behind me ran past to get to the front of the line.

It was my turn to pass. Not the strongest runner, I felt pretty good and was able to get to the front of the pack without much incident. It was then that I realized that I was actually having an accident. I am not sure if I was already peeing and then just started running or was running and then started peeing. All I know is that running and peeing is not easy to do. I peeled off to the side (this is when everyone thought I was going to puke…OMG! SHE HAS RHABDO!) and quite honestly, I would have been less embarrassed if I had just puked. But after birthing two TEN POUND children, nature is just not kind. To my utter (or should I say, udder) dismay, the leader of the squad shouts “slow down! we don’t leave a teammate behind!” Oh geez…I am so a fan of that line of thought, but a peeing teammate!? Don’t we just leave a peeing teammate behind so she doesn’t have to try and tie her tee shirt around her waist out of complete shame?

I just put my pride aside, got back in line and finished the run. We finished at 3:29 and one of the afternoon classes beat us with a time of 3:22.

It’s my fault, I know. My knees, my back, my legs, not even my lungs failed me. When push came to shove (pun not intended), my bladder was my ultimate demise.

Take that Pukey the Clown! I am formally introducing you to my personal nemesis – Bouncey the Bladder.

it's a bladder with springs!

it’s a bladder with springs!

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Categories: All The Rest

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