There is no denying that CrossFit has changed our lives. Not only have we experienced serious results and accomplished things with our bodies we thought never possible, we have become part of a community where certain hygiene products just show up in the ladies room on double under day. To that end, I bring you the top ten OMG CrossFit moments – Ladies edition.
I love CrossFit, but it’s okay to laugh.
1. OMG. Handstand Push-ups: Time to get upside down. I tucked my shirt tightly into my speed shorts and now I’m ready to kick up. I am keenly aware that my once taut stomach is now a “mom” stomach and gravity is working against me. I check the shirt tuck once again. The tuck is good and tight. I kick up and ready myself for the first rep and then it happens: OMG my shirt came untucked and the deflated raisin bag that is my stomach is exposed for all to see mid-kip!!
2. OMG. Speed Shorts: Everybody’s talkin’ ’bout my speed shorts. I got my speed shorts. I got my speed shorts on…I love my speed shorts. So many different colors. They are so awesome. I like your speed shorts too. Are those new? I love that color. This is a great workout. I love this workout. OMG it’s time to stretch – speed shorts and stretching do not mix. Thank goodness there’s a liner.
3. OMG. Double Unders: What a great morning. I’m so glad I got up a little early so I can enjoy a nice cup of coffee before I hit the gym. This coffee is so good. Mmmmmm…a whole cup to enjoy all to myself. Maybe I’ll check the workout before I get to the gym. OMG. Double unders. Full cup of coffee. Birthed two ten pound babies. Almost 40. Gravity. The odds are not in my favor.
4. OMG Dead Lifts: I am so good at dead lifts. This is one of my favorite lifts. There isn’t much my sad little legs can lift, but dead lifts. It’s on. Load up that bar! Keep loading that bar. No really, put some weight on that bar! OMG. Too heavy. I look like the cartoon version of Olive Oil trying to pick up something five times her size off the ground. No rep.
5. OMG Trapezius and Deltoids: Pull-ups. Push-ups. Overhead squats. Hand stand push-ups. Clean and jerk. Push press. Push jerk. Strict press. Hand release push-ups. OMG. Have you seen my traps and delts? The beach is “that way.”
6. OMG 14.5: Open workout 14.5. Enough said.
7. OMG CrossFitters: I totally do CrossFit. I totally come in last. Almost every day. I still feel good about myself and about the workout I am getting because OMG have you actually seen the people who don’t just do CrossFit? They call themselves CrossFitters. Holy cow.
8. OMG Crazy Train: I remember the days when I would put on my headphones, scroll to my favorite playlist – that may or may not have included Jack Johnson and Matt Costa – and start walking on the treadmill. Now it’s gangster rap and heavy metal at 6:00 a.m. and OMG not a day goes by when I don’t hear Crazy Train in a CrossFit workout.
9. OMG Tats: The first time I walked into a CrossFit affiliate two years ago I distinctly told the gal at the front desk “I don’t think I have enough tattoos to go here.” She said it didn’t matter that I didn’t have any and for some reason I believed her. Now two years later my skin is still tat free, but OMG I have a rope climb scar on my calf that could double as a heart tattoo.
10. OMG Body Issues: I’ve never really had any until now. I want bigger legs. I want a bigger booty. I want to be able to butterfly pull-up. I want to handstand walk more than four steps (on a good day). I want to do a legless rope climb. I want my body to do things like Samantha Briggs or Lindsey Valenzuela but OMG mostly I want my body to hold up for a long time so I can keep doing the already amazing things I am doing for a really long time. I want health and I want it for longer than what the world tells me is possible and I want my kids to see their mama do hard things because OMG I want them to do hard things too.
Categories: Life Lessons Through Sports